Louis Urbanowski · Coming soon
The Milks
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Tom Nowak is twenty-nine, hungover and waiting for his mum to make him a fry-up. She never gets to finish it.
The dead are back on their feet, leaking white fluid from every orifice. Worse, they’re learning. They mimic Tom’s laugh and his mum’s screams. Soon the whole street is crying in their voices.
He calls them: ‘The Milks.’
Tom’s mates have followed the drunken survival plan he confidently outlined the night before. Of all the times to take him seriously.
Now Tom has to cross ten miles of the apocalyptic concrete hellscape that is Stevenage to find them.
If they made it, they’re waiting for him. If he stays home, he’ll die alone in the house where his mum did.
He barely left the house at the best of times.
It took the end of the world for him to start living. It may just be the death of him.
The Milks is a British zombie horror-comedy about grief, growing up, and the consequences of talking bollocks in the pub.
Louis Urbanowski · Out now
The Right Members Club
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A hapless, well-intentioned MP’s career ends live on morning television—with his trousers down and his webcam switched on.
Then Britain’s most secretive political institution offers him a way back.
All he has to do is help them stop Britain’s first competent government . . . well, ever.
For over four hundred years, The Right Members Club has protected British politics from one dangerous thing: competence.
But a benevolent dictator is rising to power. He begins dismantling Parliament—and, alarmingly, the country starts to work. With the public firmly behind him, he threatens the Club and the privileges it has protected for centuries.
To save British politics, Mark Fallow must decide whether it deserves to be saved at all.
Free reader bonuses
Two books.
More trouble.
The Milks: Sam, a bonus chapter from the woman Tom left behind. Save it until you’ve finished the book.
The Right Members Club: Mugs & Hot Yoga, two deleted scenes featuring Lucy Fallow and Jill Bradshaw.
Join my mailing list for both bonuses, plus occasional book news and writing updates. Confirm your email to open your reading links. Unsubscribe whenever you like.
The debut novel
Britain needs
its worst MPs.
Mark Fallow’s political career ends in spectacular public disgrace. Then he discovers a four-hundred-year-old secret society whose members are failed, disgraced and unusually well qualified to save the country.
But when a competent Prime Minister starts fixing Britain, the Club confronts its greatest threat: a government people actually like.
Reader reports
“A Really Enjoyable Read!”⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Brilliant satire — highly recommended.”⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Laughs, intrigue… heart and soul.”⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Really enjoyable, must read.”⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“British Humor at its Finest.”⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The books
Now, next and classified.
The Milks
Read Chapter One Free →
The Right Members Club
Buy on Amazon ↗
Future Britains
Listen to The Test →The next one
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Writing with OCD
Learning to write differently.
I had to completely relearn how I wrote when OCD, intrusive thoughts and brain fog collided with going back on an SSRI.
For years, I could sit down and write 2,000 words a day. Then suddenly I couldn’t hold a chapter in my head the same way, couldn’t look at the page for long, and had to build a completely different process.
So I started talking my books into existence: voice notes, corrections, rambling plot ideas, scene changes, bits of dialogue and thoughts to myself — then turning all of that into chapters.
I’m sharing this because I know there will be other writers dealing with OCD, intrusive thoughts, SSRI side effects or brain fog, and trying to work out how to keep creating when their brain suddenly works differently.
If that’s you, message me. I’m genuinely happy to talk about what it was like, what helped me adapt, and the strange little systems I built to keep writing.
Message me on Instagram ↗More from Louis
Bad decisions.
Regularly posted.
Writing updates, comedy, works in progress and the occasional glimpse behind the books.
About Louis
Writing Britain as it probably deserves.
Louis Urbanowski is the best-selling comedy author of The Right Members Club and the forthcoming British zombie comedy The Milks. He writes political satire, short fiction and stories about institutions held together by misplaced confidence.